although i normally dont take sides in divorces i am not a part of...

...there is absolutely noway that Heather Mills is the good guy in the dissolution of this marriage. Paul is a cuddly bear of a man, and although I'm sure he's not perfect - as no one is - he seems like a great hubby and daddy. And I have not seen one ounce of evidence to prove the Heather is not a money-hungry, fame-obsessed gold digger. Here is what Sir Paul McCartney told BBC Radio today:

"There are certain things in life that are personal and I think a relationship with a partner is intensely personal and I prefer to keep it that way. I think when you are going through difficulties the thing to do, for sake of all the people concerned, is to keep a certain dignity and remember that it is a private affair. That way you will probably get through it better, you will put less noses out of joint and I think it's a more dignified way to go about it. So that's what I try to do. I don't hold grudges against anyone. I don't blame anyone for the sadnesses that have happened to me. Even through difficult moments, I like to try and look to the other side and think there'll come a time when I'll feel better."

Picking baby # 8,545,664

Is it just me or does she just get hotter and hotter?
She's looking really good these days, her face is glowing and I think it's because she's doing what she does best. Sorry for not making this mean/funny, I've always been on Team Jolie.

(where's Maddox?)

?CELEBRITY? VERBAL VOMIT OF THE DAY

"Where I come from, a confrontation like that, as basic and simple as that, would have been satisfied with a handshake and an apology."









Yes, when you hurl a phone at someone's head it's totally normal to expect him to accept your apology, shake your hand and forgive you. It's something so basic that happens so often that it's INSANE if anyone even gets upset over it. If that's how it is down under, I'm on my way. Because there are soooo many people I want to do that to.

shock and AWE

LOS ANGELES, California (AP) -- Last year, Tyra Banks donned heavy padding to experience the world as a 350-pound woman. Now the talk-show host has gone undercover as a man in a rapper's posse.
Banks, 32, was stripped of her supermodel looks to become a guy for an episode of "The Tyra
Banks Show" that is set to air November 13.
"I actually had a suit thing that went over me that made me have pecs and, like, a six-pack," Banks, who underwent five hours of preparation for the transformation, told AP Radio in a recent interview.
"And I was so muscular that it covered all of that breast tissue underneath it. We had to give me like, a heavier brow bone and a man's chin and bone structure."
Though she became manly enough to infiltrate Chingy's entourage, her voice was a giveaway.
"Chingy kept saying that my voice was way too high and I had to fix it, so I would go, like, 'You know, what's up? ... You know, you lookin' kinda good,' " said Banks, speaking in a low, gruff tone.
Banks' get-up fooled a young woman, who gave her a bit of a surprise.
"She kissed me," Banks said. "I was like, 'Oh my gosh, that was really weird.' She ran up and kissed me 'cause she thought that kissing me would get her closer to Chingy."

What will Tyra NOT do?!? I think Oprah better watch her back, b/c if you want hard-hitting daytime programing, Tyra is the show to watch! The things that she will do; the safety she risks, the levels she conquers - I am stunned.

this will totally be brought up in the divorce proceedings...

Shanna Moekler had a "divorce party" in Vegas last night. Now, I don't exactly know who is at fault in the demise of their relationship, as it is hard to keep track of the "he said, she said" that transpires over their MySpace pages (for real). But I think that if you looked up "tacky" in a dictionary or even Wikepedia, these 2 pictures would bookend the word.

You have children, for God's sake!

get over yourself

You know, I dont even have a problem with the super weird head dress Kate "I am useless and boney" Bosworth is wearing. I closed my eyes real tight and could imagine in on real style setters, like Kate Moss, Lindsay Lohan (as much as I hate to admit it, her looks always end up in the mainstream after time), and other such fashionistas. But Ms. Bosworth is nobody. She's just a wannabe who starves herself. And, as Dlisted.com pointed out today, what has she really done in life? WIN A DATE WITH TAD HAMILTON! Girlfriend needs to stop being a bobblehead and start getting roles. THEN maybe she will be worthy of weird fashion accessories.

Happy Birthday McStubbahey

Ahh the signature pose. You're not fooling us
anymore Mattey!

Look at the look on that poor dog's face

Even the dog knows there's something wrong here.
Also, in Nicole Richie proportions - why is her belly protruding?
What is in Paris' hair and check out those freaky hands.
I woke up on the wrong side of the bed ladies and gentleman, and I just feel like being mean.
Nicole, I never liked you, but you were WAY cooler without Paris on your side.
Paris, Nicole makes you look cheaper than you are (if that's possible) because she has some sense of style at least (let's thank Rachel Zoe for her one contribution to the world).

Sweet Dreams...

I'm posting this early tonight, since I'll be heading out soon and didn't want to post it too late.
Yes, it's Kate again. Yes, there's a lot of Kate on this blog. But she did win British Model of the Year today and we're celebrating.
Sleep tight children.

Yeah, he finally came out

Apparently, Doogie is really proud to say that he's a content gay man. That's why it took him this long to admit he was gay. But you know what I'm sick of? People like Perez Hilton who congratulate themselves for outing gay celebrities. Mind your own freakin' business! Yes, I agree that there is NO reason for gay celebrities to hide the fact that they are gay, but if that's what they choose to do - BUTT OUT. All you're doing is playing bully. Not cool.

That being said, we are still waiting on Anderson Cooper and Wentworth Miller - especially Wentworth - we've been hearing A LOT of rumors from insiders on that one.

i need to get to London ASAP

Daniel Radcliffe, the hottie who plays my beloved Harry Potter, is going to star in a crazy play in London.

"The play, about a young man's attacks on horses and a psychiatrist's attempt to explain them, is altogether different fare from what Potter fans are used to, requiring his character Alan Strang to appear naked on stage."

Who can fly me there like right now?!? And if fantasizing about a naked 17-year-old is wrong, then MY HOLY GOD, WHAT IS RIGHT?!?!?!

when will it all end?

There has been a lot of recent news surround the soap opera that is Anna Nicole Smith. I think it's time for a recap of the events of the last 2 months:

-she gives birth
-son dies
-a lot of drama with the toxicology reports
-still no burial
-2 guys claim to be the father of the girl
-still no burial
-Howard claims to be the dad
-pictures of the hospital stay are sold and published
-Anna and Howard marry
-still no burial
-sell pics to People
-Larry Birkhead tries to get them into the US for a paternity test
-finally a burial
-Birky claims the girl's hair was dyed
-Anna is evicted from her bahamas home
-sources say Anna will be digging up dead son to take him out of the Bahamas
-Anna lands in the hospital with pneumonia and a collapsed lung
-more drugs found in toxicology report
-Anna's friend claims she took drugs during pregnancy and stated that Birky is the daddy

There you have it folks. This makes the whole old dude's money/Supreme Court case look like an event comparable to burning dinner. Because if you're Anna Nicole Smith, life is ALWAYS excited. Yesterday, push-pin got stuck in my boot. But that's just how my life goes, danger and thrill at ever corner. WAHOOO.

coochie coo

Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek attended AFI's Festival presenting Cruz's film, Volver last night. I think both of these ladies are sexy, graceful, and just plain perfect. However, it's about time they came out of the damn closet. Wasnt Penny out in the beginning of her career in Spain? We know they do the nasty and there's no shame in it. STOP HIDING!

Penny is like the most useless beard anyway b/c if she dates any actor from now on, you know he's just about as straight as Ricky "Macho" Martin (see previous post).

Lets see...she dated whom? Oh yes thats right, Tom Cruise and Matthew McConaughey. I take it back. Butch Butch Butch.

Shakira seen shaking ass . . .

And this is news?
Not really, but she's half-Lebanese and she's hot.
She did pick up four trophies at the Latin Grammy Awards last night at
Madison Square Garden.
Also present at the Awards was Ricky Martin.


gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay gay

?CELEBRITY? VERBAL VOMIT OF THE DAY

"I have to be mom and and wife and there are times when I should have, you know, hung out with my kids, and I just said, 'No, I need a massage. I’m gonna do that instead.'"

Madonna
guess that's what happened when she decided to get a facial yesterday.

Because we all need something hot to look at sometimes

Angelina and Maddox walking
around in India. Enough said.

another round of sex

According to the Hollywood Gossip Whores, the Sex & the City movie that has long been chattered about may finally become a reality. When the show wrapped in 2004, negotiations for a big-screen adaption apparently failed due to Kim Cattral's catty disinterest in working with Sarah Jessica Gremlin Horsey Parker. Apparently, all four ladies have now reconsidered and an inside source says that each actress and their teams of slaves are renegotiating.

What does this really mean?
It means that none of those hags could actually make it without their beloved "Women are crazy" show. Even Giddyup Parker couldn't make it as a top-notch thespien, and I doubt "Failure to Launch" is going to garner any Oscar nods. So, they have nothing better to do than go back to S&TC, the thing they do best - bitch and screw. [You know I'll be preordering tickets.]

LOSER of the Day

Kanye West, who did not win the award for Best Video at the MTV Europe Music Awards, stormed the stage and went psycho on the winners Justice and Simian. Apparently, he thinks he should have won for "Touch the Sky." This is what he had to say about that:

"Fuck dis! (My video) cost a million dollars, Pamela Anderson was in it, I was jumping across canyons and shit! If I don't win, the awards show loses credibility. Nothing against you (Justice and Simian), but hell man."

Ok, I'm a Kanye fan but he's gotta stop going nuts every time he loses.

Thank God Justin Timberlake, the host of the awards show, was around to joke about it -
"After the show, Kanye will be in the parking lot accepting awards he did not win. Seriously though, I've got sexy covered, it's good to see someone's doing crazy."

good one, JT.

Guess the Celebrity

actually, I'll just tell you!
Madonna was getting a facial yesterday afternoon at Tracie Martyn on 5th Ave b/w 12th and 13th. We were walking back from lunch and saw a crowd waiting around for someone and lots of paparazzi. Turns out Madonna was getting a facial inside and Michelle Williams had just walked in. Next thing we know she walks out with her bodyguards. I don't know what they did to her in there but bitch was GLOWING. She looked GOOD. She was all smiles for her fans. Unfort, baby David wasn't with her.
We didn't wait around for Michelle Williams, the only time she's interesting is when Heath is around.

Reason #930982 why I love the BRITS!

After a year of scandal and endless news stories about her drug problems and crazy rocker boyfriend (fiance) Pete Doherty, Kate has been named Britain's Model of the Year.
Because the Brits recognize hot shit when they see it, and know how to appreciate it.
Congrats Kate!
You're always Model of the Year at suchapublicitystunt!

Sweet Dreams...

h


Black Cod with Miso from Nobu












mmm... if you've had it, relive the experience in your mind. If you haven't, make reservations. Now.
Goodnight

Tobey Maguire's Secret Admirer

Dear Tobey Maguire,

No, you're not a looker. But you're kind of cute in a "I'm friends with Leonardo DiCaprio" kind of way. However, the jigg is up. This fiance of yours is fugly, everyone knows that. Even the 200 A-List actresses who attended her ridiculously phenomenal baby shower know that she's fugly with a capital FUG. And her father just HAPPENS to be the head of Universal Studios, Ron Meyer - tricky tricky. I wonder who is getting the next lead in the next Oscar-worthy film....hmmm......you are clever, Mr. Maguire, a little too clever....

Love,
You Secret Admirer

Duh...what?

WHO FINDS THIS BITCH HOT!?!??!?! Honestly, the people who work at People Magazine, who time and again like to crown this ho "Sexiest ____" or "Most Beautiful _____," need to check their damn eyes. She is not hot. I'm not saying she's totally ugly, but she is so overrated. She is NOT a good actress and NOT fun to look at. Soooo overpaid. She should be lucky she had like 50000 cops surrounding her at the airport....because I probably would have pulled her thinning hair.

gorgeous with a capital GORRRR

I (Di) personally think that JLo is the epitome of beauty. She sizzles in this photo from yesterday. I hate her hair parted in the middle though. NO ONE should part their hair like that. Further, I think that standing in the middle of Tweedle Fug and Tweedle Fuglier makes anyone hotter.

Did Bitch Break Election Law?

Widows having the last laugh!
Seriously, forget about Snoop Dogg - lock this bitch up!

?CELEBRITY? VERBAL VOMIT OF THE DAY

"The bad decision was – and this is the dumbest decision I've ever made in my life – it went like this: If a man really loves me, he will not have to love me for my body. He will really love me just for me. "

Ok, so what's this bitch saying? Is she blaming her being FAT on deciding that she should be loved for who she is?
Really, Kirstie?
You should TOTALLY be a role model for young 14 year old girls with body complexes. Bravo!

p.s. nobody wants to see your fat ass on Oprah. I lie, I'll totally be there at 4 sharp.

In America, woman can vote, but horse cant? Hm?

I am personally super excited for the Borat movie. I am also super happy that I dont live in Kazakhstan. Because the only movie that I wish the govenment precluded me from watching is "Employee of the Month." Where was Kasymzhomart Tokayev back then?!?

LONDON, England (Reuters) -- Kazakhstan will probably not show a British comedian's film poking fun at the former Soviet republic, the country's foreign minister said, adding that he did not find it
funny.
Kasymzhomart Tokayev told a German newspaper he hoped German cinema-goers would also keep straight faces when Sacha Baron Cohen's satirical film in which he plays fictional Kazakh television reporter Borat opens in their cinemas on Thursday.
Asked by the Bild newspaper if he had had been able to laugh at the snippets of the film 'Borat' he had seen, the minister said: "Honestly, no." "Apart from the name of our country and our flag, it has nothing
to do with us. I also hope the people in your country will not laugh at us, but that the film will arouse their interest. They should come to our country and get to know the real Kazakhstan," he said.
Tokayev added that he did not expect any Kazakh cinema to show the film, in which Cohen's moustachioed Borat expresses his trademark misogynistic, racist and anti-Semitic views.
"This is a film which has xenophobic content," he said.
Cohen's jokes have become a public relations headache for Kazakhstan as the former Soviet state seeks to position itself as a modern nation of well-educated professionals and a major non-OPEC oil exporter.

Snoop Dogg in da Dog Pound (maybe)

Yeah, I know - lame title.
A felony warrant has been issued for the arrest of Snoop Dogg after he was charged with one felony count of possession of a deadly weapon. Apparently, Snoop had a 21'' collapsible baton packed in his laptop when we was walking through the x-ray machine in a Cali airport.

I really have nothing funny to say. I love Snoop Dogg. He's pretty awesome. A maximum sentence for 3 years is probably not even going to help him increase his street cred - at best he'll end up writing a song about it. And I prefer his songs about hos so like, what's the point? Let him go. Seriously.

Yay. Tom Cruise has a job!

Only a couple of months after Sumner Redstone's decision not to renew Tom's contract with Paramount Pictures, Tom now has a new gig!
He has signed with MGM to resurrect the United Artists movie studio. He will star in and produce movies for the studio. Hurray. More Tom Cruise films.

Maybe Tom can be the next Bond! He's got the hair for it. Neil Patrick Harris can be Pussy Galore.

kill yourself

Lindsay Lohan was recently spotted sporting an AA chip necklace. Everyone's buzzing about the "90 days" written on it. Basically, people in AA are given chips to signify how long they've been clean and sober. Several theories have been floating around:
-Lindsay has been sober for 90 days (not possible, she hasnt been sober since she was in the womb...and probably not then either, by the looks of her skank ho dilusional mother)
-Lindsay is wearing it in support of a family member (also not possible since her family boozes it up and smoke out of a community crack pipe on family game night)
-blah, blah, blah
-blah, blah, blah
-blah, blah, blah

Well, I have the truth, and I stand behind it 100%:

Lindsay, like most celebrities (particularly the young "Hollywood Starlets"), is wearing this SO PEOPLE TALK ABOUT IT! Hello?!?!? EVERYTHING IS FOR PUBLICITY! And its a frickin shame because AA actually helps people. And isn't Alcoholics Anonymous supposed to be, I dont know, ANONYMOUS?!?!? I doubt someone in AA would go around getting photographed with this proclamation to the world. But Lindsay would because she knows when she'll be photographed and she LOVES HER FRICKIN ATTENTION!

So no more wondering why she's wearing this or that or hanging out with whomever. Bitch does everything for publicity, just like the rest of her family (except her crazy dad...he's just crazy).

I swear, I'll be over the halloween kick soon....

...I just gotta give mad props to Heidi Klum and Seal. Even though his face is busted, I LOVE this couple and LOVE their halloween spirit.

The same cannot be said of Paris. I dont even have to say how much of a skanky slut she is b/c even my old immigrant grandmother is aware of it.

Me: Grandma, how do I look in this outfit?

Grandma: Like dat slutty Parees Heelton.

Here's another year of Paris's genius costume. SO ORIGINAL!

Ok, so that concludes my obsession with halloween 06. I leave you with the best jack-o-lattern ever - Ms. Suri Holmes-Cruise. I'm sure you've seen it already, but it haunts me in my dreams so I must share with others.

"Ciao Bitchezzz!!!"

Celebrities share sex toys too!

Isn't Barbara super generous? Sandy doesn't deserve it though - she's a giant beyotch.

Lohan Holiday...stirs up some old memories

I waited until it was past midnight to post this because three Lohan-related posts in one day would be too much.
In case you haven't heard "Lohan Holiday" by Ali Lohan, here is a link to my favorite blog (besides ours!) Dlisted:
http://dlisted.com/2006/11/01/truly-awful-music-a-lohan-holiday/

Ok, so many things to say here.
The lyrics - I mean, really? You're what, Ali, 12? 13?
"won't you come for a while? let's go in a hurry, come with me you'll see...imagination is all you really need... magical moments...all you have to do is just believe... a Christmas fantasy, it's meant for you and me where everything you'll want is for FREE! you're more than welcome to a Lohan holiday...come let me take you on a Lohan holiday."

mmm ... ok

remind me - wasn't it at some "Lohan Holiday" that their father beat the shit outta their uncle and ended up having his ass hauled off to jail?

If that's what Ali's "Lohan Holiday" entails, sign me up!

Sweet dreams ...

may this be the last thing you see before you sleep tonight.

Letter from the Editors/From your Secret Admirer*

Dear Alyssa Milano,

You're like 42. Grow up.

Love,
Sar & Di

ps: snaps for not being a complete and utter ho like Princess Lohan

* Di and I can't decide on what to call this sorta post. Since I'm stubborn and like to get what I want and am in the mood to bitch tonight, I decided to not provide a final title version. I'll probably be over it by tomorrow morning, though.

Milkin' it for all it's worth...

Ok so for all of you who religiously watched season 2 of "Flavor of Love", you know what went down in the reunion show. In case you missed it - let me just say: Buckwild, ugly white shoe, New York, drama.
Of course, my woman New York stayed classy as usual and took it all with a big smirk on her face.
I'm not hating on Buckwild, though - she provided me with hours of endless entertainment, so much so that I just wanted to "get Buckwild" with her (and still do). Seeing her go was tough, and having her back on the reunion was just AWESOME. Now she is auctioning the very shoe used in her attack against New York on Ebay.
Right now, the highest bid is $305. If I had that kind of money, I'd buy the shoe and give it to Di as a token of our friendship. Because that's the kinda shit we bond over.