my two best friends

So Rupert Everett and Donatella Versace went out a few nights ago. I just want to say that I think they are both awesome and I dont care what anyone else says. He seems super sweet and down-to-earth. If he weren't gay, I'd totally enjoy a romantic weekend away at a villa or something. That's his style.
And yes, I know that Donatella has an interesting look, but you know what? She invented the word "fabulous" - she IS style. And she just doesnt give a flying f*ck what anyone thinks of her. Smoke those stoges, sister!

yay for Eva! ra ra ra!

As I had mentioned a few days ago, that it would only be a matter of time (very little time) before we heard about everything having to do with Eva Longoria & Tony Parker's engagement. I was right. Eva, in her trademark style, spilled all the details to People magazing. Now I am confident that I know what she was thinking, what he was thinking, how it happened, who she told, etc etc. I mean, honestly, can she keep anything between the two of them? She thinks she's like this GIANT star and we want to know who cooks breakfast on Saturdays and what brand of tampons she uses. You're not Madonna!

In case you're hungry for Eva info:

http://people.aol.com/people/article/0,26334,1567459,00.html

Growing Pains: Robert de Niro

grew up to become

Jake Gyllenhaal's Secret Admirer

Dear Jakey,

Word to the wise: when trying to combat or deter from rumors of homosexuality, try to NOT wear a see-through shirt. <3>

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

Sweet Dreams...

I am eating Skittles as I study and I just really had forgotten how amazing and addicting these little suckers are. They are just sooooo good. So, I hope you have sweet (& colorful) dreams.

Taste the rainbow.

EVERYONE is in NY!!!!!

Ok, honestly, forget the Jolie-Pitts, Victoria frickin' Beckham is in town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
woo-hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jolie-Pitts in NY!!!

They're here bitches... and I can't write long, I'm out to stalk stalk stalk. (just kidding,)

Four words: how BEAUTIFUL are they?!?!!?!?!!!

Crazy Celebs Hanging Out

Other people who attended the premiere of "The Pursuit of Happyness" included: Tom, Katie, J.Lo & Marc Anthony. So, just some normal people being normal friends going to the movies. Yup. Normal Normal Normal.

Katie only dresses well when she's with posh - her outfit is boooring. Tom is getting chunky. J.Lo is auditioning as Angel #3 in the Xmas pageant, and Marc actually does look better clean shaven (or standing next to the other three).

Anyway. Here are those pics.

Where has the time gone?

First, of all, I cant believe with the fresh prince of Bel Air has graying hair. Second, I am shocked at how big his first and oldest kid, Trey, has gotten. This is the little guy who appeared in the video for "Just The Two Of Us" way back when. Where has the time gone?

Here is the happy family - Will, Trey, Jada, Willow, and Jaiden - at the premiere of Will & Jaiden's new movie, "The Pursuit of Happyness."

Ring Ring

That is Prince William, calling me all the way here in America, to see if I'd like to be his wife/lover/princess. So sweet of him. I accepted.

Stupid Kate Middleton.

Meow

So, I mean, she is Gwen, so she is basically allowed to wear any outfit or hairdo. But sometimes, she looks like she's trying too hard to be quirky and trendsetting. That is all.

Sweet Dreams...

This is a far cry from our earlier Sweet Dream posts (which consisted of half naked men and Kate Moss), but we are in finals mode, and we are sleep deprived. (I have been awake now for 41 hours).
Anyway, the thing we'd dream about most, if we were sleeping, is...well....sleeping...like a baby. Oh to be young again.

Ew Yuck Bleh Argh

In case you thought that those were Beyonce's real golden locks (in which case, you're stupid), Exhibit-A nicely shows you that not only is she wearing a wig, but her stylist sucks big time. Honestly, extentions are one thing but a full out wig? At the age of 25? Is anything about her real? Oh yeah, her ego.

I can name three ladies who are now banned from the White House.

These 3 chicks came to the Kennedy Center Honors in the same $8500 Oscar De La Renta gown. More importantly, it was the same one that Laura Bush wore. The First Lady decided to not look like a fool like the rest of them and changed into another dress halfway through the event.

This story is even better seeing that the dress is fug. Oscar is just not trying. Its the First Lady for godsake - put in some effort!

Dont mess with girl power.

Melanie Brown is not going to sit back and take Eddie's disgusting claims that he might not be the father of the baby she is currently carrying. He also told the world they are no longer together, which apparently she was not aware of, and he is now with Babyface's ex-wife. Like a true Spice Girl, she is getting her word in, saying:

“I am obviously upset and distressed at some of the comments made by Eddie Murphy to the media. I have no idea why anybody would want to conduct themselves in this kind of manner about such a personal matter in such a public way. My main concern is for the well being of my (seven-year-old) daughter Phoenix and of course the baby. I was astonished at what Eddie said – there is absolutely no question that Eddie is the father.”

I am on her side in this. First of all, Spice Girls trump all others. Plus, girlfriend is friggin pregnant! Eddie is being a royal ass and I wont stand for it. I am burning my DVD of Dr. Dolittle.

Growing Pains: Julia Roberts

grew up to become

?CELEBRITY? VERBAL VOMIT OF THE DAY

It's been so long since I've been out on the town with friends. It's also been 2 years since I've even celebrated my birthday. Every move I make at this point has been magnified more than I expected, and I probably did take my new found freedom a bit too far. Anyway, thank God for Victoria Secrets' new underwear line! I look forward to a new year, new music and a new me. I'm just getting started …. Happy Holidays everyone.

B*tch is cheap. Victoria's Secret? I mean we all shop there, but you don't have to tell us where you buy your underwear, Britney. I know we're all close now since we've seen your secret place so many times, but you have to start appreciating the words "TOO MUCH INFORMATION!" And what does "I'm just getting started" mean? I think it's a threat. More Britney vadge. ew.

Sh*t like this gets me excited

When Ugly Betty first came on, I kept thinking about who the actor playing the Daniel Meade character reminded me of. Then I realized - he's the Gregster! For those of you who weren't obsessed with Cruel Intentions in their teens, the Greg = Greg McConnell = the gay football player who ends up in bed with the Josh Jackson character.

This realization totally made my day. I LOVE Ugly Betty and Daniel Meade, I have always loved the Gregster, thinking he was pretty awesome when he called himself that to Annette on the beach. So I just want to show, in pictures, my love for Eric Mabius - here he is In Cruel Intentions, in the beach scene; and in Ugly Betty at his office at Mode.

Slowwww news day...

Yeah, two people were stabbed in Union Square today, prompting me to take a cab to and from a fun dinner with friends (it's good not to have to make up an excuse for not taking public transportation sometimes). But apart from that, there's nothing interesting to write about, so I'll give you something to think about (or not):

Compare THIS

to THIS...
Frumpy, dumpy Jen Garner carryin what appears to be her kid v. Coolness
There's a reason why the Garner-Afflecks are always up for winning "boring family of the week" and the Stefani-Rosdale's would never even come close to being considered.

Sweet Dreams...

... as you put all your worries and thoughts away tonight and rest your head on your pillow, dream about the stunning Karolina Kurkova wearing a bra worth more than you'll ever make in your lifetime.

Maggie Gyllenhaal's Secret Admirer

Dear Maggie,

You have a hot hubby and an adorable new baby at home. You are superbly talented and there's Oscar buzz for your role in Sherry Baby this year. You are perty. I barely make fun of you or your loved ones. So....try a smile once in a while damnit! And dont dress like Barbara Bush (the granny, not the alcoholic).

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

Growing Pains: Patrick Swayze

grew up to become

Grey's F*cked Up Anatomy

Either Ellen Pompeo bought herself some horribly ill-fitting pants, or that is the biggest camel toe EVER.

Sweet Dreams...

As I leave my law school, where I've been holed up studying each and every day, I step out onto 5th avenue and the view I get is of the Empire State Building all lit up and perty for Xmas. Lights decorate trees and wreaths hang from lamp-posts. Even as a Jew (Di, not Sar), I appreciate the city dressed up so lovely during the holiday season. Almost makes Criminal Procedure enjoyable. Almost.

although i very much dislike Sienna Miller...

....and am very tempted to rip her apart for this outfit she wore in NYC today, I just realized that I wear the same type of outfits out and about in the city....so who am I to talk?

Then again, I dont live a fabulous life I haven't earned and take myself way too seriously. Stupid Sienna.

All I want for Christmas is an STD...

Warning: Santa has now been contaminated. Hide your children. Convert to Judaism. Buy Purell.

Picture Perfect

The Sexiest Man Alive (I'm sure he's enjoying the ongoing title) and the new papa pale in comparison to Cate Blanchett, who is gorgeous, classy, and a fantastic actress. She looks lovely.

Diddy's girls are almost ready for their world premiere!

Kim Porter and Diddy are adorable and she sure is getting big (this comes from me, who is not a famous model). You know that in a bit over 16 years, Diddy's daughters are going to have the illest party on My Super Sweet 16. My Tivo is set.

Be a man Eddie!!!

So, first we think that Eddie Murphy and Mel B are together and happy and expecting a little bundle of joy. Then we hear, just yesterday, that they have split and Eddie's saying he aint no baby daddy. Now, we find out that Eddie Murphy and Tracey Edmonds, the ex-wife of singer Kenneth "Babyface" Edmonds, are dating, and have been for about a month and a half. Oh bajeezus. I cant keep up. I'm getting angry at Eddie b/c my allegiance will always be with the Spice Girl - each and every one of them.

Omg. Seth and Summer totally broke up.

I hate finals. I hate finals because they make me sad. My sadness soon turns to bitterness. When I am feeling bitter, cute, happy people get on my nerves. Bad news about cute, happy people makes me happy. Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson have reportedly broken up. Finally.

thank the lord

Jordan (Katie Price) & her hubby Peter Andre - who were both featured in a post yesterday - have just announced that they are expecting another kid. Jordan suffered a miscarriage a few months ago so this is certainly a reason to celebrate! Actually, I'm really just excited to see what glorious maternity clothing she will be sporting. Hurray!

Growing Pains: Marilyn Manson

grew up to become

My my, I'm not sure which picture is scarier. It's always the fug little nerds that end up living dangerously...

Bitch is BROKE

Tori invites you into her house to shop her dazzling valley home, jewelry & closets contents sale. This represents much of her last 15 years of buying & collecting. Included are antique & vintage items from the 19th, 20th, & 21st centuries! French, Italian, Continental, American white wicker, shabby chic, and traditional furniture, crystal chandeliers & sconces, pictures & paintings, lamps, vanity, Tori’s personal jewelry, bric-a-brac, memorabilia, garden & patio, designer & casual clothes, shoes, accessories, photos, etc.

Friday & Saturday, December 8th & 9th — 9AM to 5PMMonday, December 11th — 9AM to 5PMMonday is sales & pick-up day

11369 Dona Lisa Dr., Studio City 91604Off of Laurel Canyon and Dona Pegita Dr.Thomas Guide: 562-J7

We expect crowds and a long line. Parking is good but expect to walk.

This is really sad. My first reaction was to laugh and read it out loud to my friends. My second reaction was sadness. Is she gonna have to shop at BabyGap?

Why I'm Glad I didn't watch the Billboard Music Awards

A big WTF were you thinking goes out to . . .

Sweet Dreams...

I know a lot of people think he's fug but I still think that Orlando Bloom is the hotness. He was hottest in Lord of the Ring, however, so if I were to sleep with him, he'd need to wear a blond wig and elf ears. Mmmmm.....

i LOVE Jordan!

Jordan (aka Katie Price) is England's non-royal princess. The retired pornstar is now an author, fashion designer, and singer. She married a fellow porn retiree and they live happily ever after, dressing up like Cinderella and her prince, and singing a duet of "A Whole New World." What could be better than that? She is truly my hero.

Well, my hero got to meet the next King, Prince Charles. She got out her classiest Disney's Princess costume (she has many) and went easy on the eye shimmer - only the best for Charlie. And you know that Charles snuck a peak at her goodies (since she practically handed them to him on a silver platter). Then he went home to Camilla and cried the night away.

Jessica Simpson sucks at everything

Last night, Jess was singing "9 to 5" in a taped tribute to Dolly Parton and f*cked up the words, then stopped her performance short, said "I'm so nervous," and hurried off stage. The audience had no clue what was happening and didn't give any applause. Later, Jess returned to the stage will all the other stars there to honor Ms. Dolly, and Jessica was visibly in tears, being consoled by Reese Witherspoon.

Wow, you'd think that along with wearing skanky clothes and acting like dumb sluts, Papa Joe Simpson would have taught his daughters to f*ck up well. Ashlee does a hoe-down after being shown to be the fraud that she is on SNL and Jessica hurries off stage in tears. I'm really glad neither of them grew up to be surgeons because I'd want my surgeon to try to fix (or at least cover up) his mistake rather than square dance and cry.