Not the way to get Justin back...

So Britney Spears shaved her head, as I'm sure you know. Many people have inquired as to my tardiness in this post. Well rest assured, I knew in the wee hours of the morning and wanted to inform you all, but it has really upset me.

Facts are: Brit went to a salon last night and shaved her head, after the hairdresser refused to do so. Then she headed to a tattoo parlor where she had a pair of lips tattooed on her wrist and apparently something on her hip. Sources from the tattoo parlor claim she was acting very weird and seemed to be on the verge of a nervouse breakdown. When asked why she shaved her head, Brit replied that she wanted people to stop touching her.

The reason I didn't post earlier was because this is so incredibly depressing for me. I keep waiting for her to turn her life around but she keeps letting me down. More over, she has now really shown us that she seriously needs help. It is like watching the downward spiral of a very promising human being. She had so much and she's losing it all, right before our eyes.

I just keep thinking about the other Mouseketeers and how well they've turned out: Xtina and Justin have booming music careers; Ryan Gosling is an Oscar nominee; Keri Russell just got married to someone who is not KFed; etc etc. And Brit, who had the most promise of them all, is falling apart.

I just hope someone can help her so she can get her career back, along with having Justin back (please please please!), and - most importantly - be a good mom to her very very young sons. I'm praying. Are you??????

the latest celebrity bastard baby

Welcome to the world Magnus Hart Swanson Eisler (say that 5 times fast....go!). Magnus was born yesterday in LA to Kristy Swanson (known pretty much only for her role in the film version of Buffy the Vampire Slayer) and Olympic figure skater, Lloyd Eisler. The two met when they were paired up for the fine television classic, "Skating with Celebrities." They caused a stir with their relationship, since at the time Eisler was still married and his wife was pregnant with their second child.

But now they, along with their reps, are singing the praises of this relationship and their new baby boy. I'm pretty sure that Eisler's scorned ex-wife, is not.

bon voyage

CNN has reported that Prince Harry will be deployed to Iraq by the end of the month, stating "Defense Secretary Des Browne is expected to announce February 26 that the prince, who is third in line to the throne, will be deployed along with his regiment near Basra in southern Iraq, The Daily Mirror newspaper reported, citing an unnamed senior military official. A royal family spokesman declined to comment and the Defense Ministry called the report speculative, saying upcoming Iraq deployments had yet to be finalized."
Well, we all know that he'll be fine, and will probably have Royal Guards surrounding him at all times. I also think its funny that William cant be deployed into war because he's second in line to the throne. That must really sting for Harry. Buuuuuuurn.

Granny Paris

I was sent some pictures of what some of the ladies - and gentlemen - of Hollywood may look like in 50 or so years. I think they are fabulous and each one makes me day a bit happier. So I will be sharing them with all of you periodically (along with "Politicians in Drag" and "Growing Pains"). Enjoy the fun!

~shoutout to Becky for this~

the d to the e to the l-i-c-i-o-u-s

Here is the latest promo pic for Daniel Radcliffe's stage debut in Equus. The show officially begins today and I am sad I'm not in London. I happen to love this pic (and all the others) because I know deep in my heard that Daniel and I can have a wonderfully steamy love affair, if he'd just return my damn calls!!! [I'd make him wear the glasses and he'd have to answer to "Harry"]

ps: Yes, I know Sar does not agree with my love of all this Harry Potter (and Daniel Radcliffe...yum), but that is the beauty of having two bloggers working for the benefit of your celebrity gossip intake. We dissagree and give two sides. For instance, she likes her actresses really skinny, where as I think there is nothing hotter than the beautiful bodies of such actresses as Catherine Zeta Jones and Monica Bellucci. Just saying....

....she's so outragous....

-the contents of Anna's will were revealed, and she left everything to Daniel...which is a problem b/c Daniel died 5 month ago

-it is now being decided whether Daniellyn, at such a young age, can be considered Anna's primary beneficiary

-lawyers continue to argue over burial location (Anna's mom want Texas; Howard's pushin for the Bahamas)

-lawyers continue to argue over patenity tests, DNA samples, etc etc.

-Howard;s sister said that Anna was unsure of the paternity of Daniellyn (well....duh)

-Anna's former bodyguard has entered the "who's yo daddy" contest, claiming that he carried on a sporatic love affair with Anna

-some are claiming that Anna may have had her dead hubby's sperm frozen and that J. Howard Marshall, who's been dead for about 10 years, could be Daniellyn's daddy

-Howard continues to pimp out his moments with Daniellyn, and anything else Extra will pay for

-movie studios are falling over themselves trying to get the rights to Anna's life story... insiders say that Charlize Theron is the front-runner to play Anna

-still not word/sight of Kimmy, the woman with all the answers (I think/hope)

stay tuned for more news from this extremely tragic yet entertaining circus

wedding update! amen!

As I've mentioned time and time again, we will be bombarded with wedding updates from Eva Longoria and Tony Parker. We will hear about her choice in bridesmaids dresses, appetizers, floral arrangements, wedding night panties, the works! And I am always proven right, as no news goes un-publicized with the annoying Eva.

If you care: she has invited every one of her DH castmates, the wedding will be in Paris on 7/7/07 and she just sent out these save-the-date cards, reminding her guests to update their passports....

gag me.

could it be true?

Extra is reporting that Britney entered rehab finally, after being urged by her friends and family.

TMZ, however, is reporting that it's only for 24 hours.

Honestly, my heart still breaks for Britney and I'm tired of being given false hope (ie: her divorce and her subsequent pretty-ness on Letterman), but I really really hope that she goes through rehab, listens to her stylist, gets her body back, puts out an album, spends more time with her little ones, and gets back together with Justin. Then, I believe, we may finally have peace in the Middle East.

I leave you with a comparison...

My dream:

Reality:

Suri, is that you?

OK! Magazine has published the above photo, apparently of Jayden James Federline. This would be the first clear picture of Britney's second offspring ever to be shown.

Cute kid, but what's with the pink coat???

WOAH!

Word on the street is that Dancing with the Stars' Cheryl Burke is currently dating Matthew Lawrence (brother of DWTS Season 3 contestant, Joey Lawrence). This makes me happy becuase, aside from loving all three Lawrence brothers, I am also a big fan of three things that Matthew has appeared in: "The Hot Chick," "Boy Meets World," and the Power Rangers-esque, "Superhuman Samurai Cyber-Squad." Apparently, Matt and Cheryl met during the DWTS tour and got super "close" at a DWTS party, after which Cheryl ordered champagne, strawberries, and a cake to her hotel room for Matt (who's bday was Feb. 11th). Sexy sexy.

Another Politician in Drag

you know you love this

aw look at that pretty girl...

No wait, it's Steven Tyler! Holy shit....is he really trying to tell us he's straight? I really find this so hard to believe. No amount of girlfriends, wives, or children can make me think that this make-up wearing, blown-out haired, sexy posing piece of hotness is straight. It's just science so dont argue with me.

Joss Stone's Secret Admirer

Dear Joss Stone,

I just puked in my mouth after seeing what you looked like at the Brit Awards. Thanks a lot.

Love,

Your Secret Admirer

Why I hate Nelly Furtado....

This skank (pictured from last night's Brit Awards, where she won for biggest sellout) is fake and talentless piece of crap. She was all folky a few years ago and then she comes back to be all into pop and hip-hop. Homey dont play that. I thought you were "like a bird" or some shit like that. I dont buy it now honey. And you're fug too! Tramp.

Hotness with a capital HOT

I love me the Brits, and even more so, the royal family. LOVE EM LOVE EM LOVE EM! So, I'd like to show you what the ladies of the British royal family (the boring ones, unlike the saucy Fergie) have been up to.

This picture is from the Women in Business Reception at Buchingham Palace yesterday in London. The get-together is being held for the country's most successful business women.

From left to right: the Duchess of Gloucester; Sophie, Countess of Wessex; Camilla, Duchess of Cornwall; Princess Anne, Princess Royal; and the hotness of Queen Elizabeth II.

Mmmmm.....skirt-suits.......

Growing Pains: Bruce Willis

grew up to become

2 months of safer streets for the Brits!!!

These are of our good friend, Pete Doherty, attending his latest court hearing (it's like a monthly event for him....his aunt flow, if you will). This particular hearing, held yesterday, was actually one of the first to slap Pete on the wrist for his drug/assault/dui charges. His license is suspended for 2 months. Yup, a whole 2 months!!!!! I swear, I need to move to London. I'll go nuts on all these drugs, spray people with blood, inject passed out girls with druggies, and then take the bus for 8 weeks. SWEET!

Happy Hump Day!

Happy Valentine's Day everybody!!!! Now, both of us (even the one of us in a relationship) feel that this holiday is full of shit and is just complete crap. But, to all of you out there who see meaning in this holiday (and most likely are also the people who say "I think they'll make it" when speaking of the latest Hollywood hook-up), we wish you and your naive ass a romantic evening.

As a gift, here are some completely demented Valentine's cards, and who we could see exchanging them in celebrity land:

To Heather. Love, Paul.

To Anna. Love, Howard.

To Justin. Love, Brit-Brit.

To Brad. Love, Angie.

To random guy at Hyde. Love, Paris.

Leo picks good roles/really wants an Oscar

NEW YORK (CNNMoney.com) -- Film star Leonardo DiCaprio is slated to produce and star in a new film on the collapse of the giant energy company Enron, Warner Bros. movie studio said Tuesday.
Warner Bros. made the deal last week for the film, which would most likely be based on "Conspiracy of Fools", a book chronicling the scandal written by New York Times reporter Kurt Eichenwald, the studio said, confirming a report first published by Variety, the entertainment industry publication.
DiCaprio, nominated for an Academy Award for his role in the film "Blood Diamond" last year, will play a newcomer who exposes the accounting fraud at the Houston-based company, the studio said. He will produce the film through his production company, Appian Way.

NOT HIGH FASHION

I dont even know what to do anymore - this shit gets me so upset. I just keep thinking about how good she looked on Letterman when she first filed for divorce from K-Fed. She was on the right track and now she's just let us all down. Is no one monitoring her? Where is her stylist? If she wont listen to the stylist, then someone should tied her up! Where is Lynn Spears, her mama, and why is she not bashing a jar Brit over the head with a pickle jar???? Omg, I am so depressed.

the French do their best to take the spotlight off Jen's new nose

Here is a photo recently published in a French magazine (they obviously have less conservative readers than us folk here in the great U. S. of A. As much as I do not enjoy looking at Jen's boobies (mostly b/c of who they belong to), it's nice to hear about something other than her nose job. Hurray for ta-ta's!!!!!

Politicians in Drag

I have come across a few (obviously doctored) photos of politicians dressed in drag. They have made me laugh and I have decided to periodically share them with you wonderful readers. Here is the first. ENJOY!

extreme nausea

these...

...belong to....

EWWWWWWWWWWWWW.....who the hell decided that this thing was pretty (or talented, for that matter). Somewhere near the village, Chris Noth is vomiting at the memories of those love scenes.

Are they ready to make nice now?????

The big winners of the night were the Dixie Chicks.

Hurray ladies. You're cool enough.

Now let's see who wins Album of the Year --- AND there's the red hot chili peppers performance. Hotness.

OMG - AGAIN

Update:
Justin Timberlake, T.I. and some cute girl singing "My Love" ---- best Grammy performance EVER. How is she not passing out? I'm screaming like a little girl here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel like I did the first time I saw "Bye, Bye, Bye"

John Mayer's message to the world

John Mayer speaks Japanese. Woo - f*ckin - hoo.

On the red carpet earlier this evening, he gave Ryan Seacrest a message about Jessica Simpson in Japanese. E! (do they even have the ! anymore?) found some random Japanese person who happened to be hanging around to translate.

Apparently he said "She is very beautiful – and you're the last to know"

Now what that means and what that says about their relationship I don't know and I don't care.

Speaking of Ryan Seacrest, the man is less annoying on the red carpet than he is on American Idol. Compared to Giulani DePandi, he's awesome. It's like she totally stopped trying after she got engaged to Bill the Apprentice. She is incapable of making normal small talk - I couldn't help but cringe when she was talking about grills with some creepy dude. That being said, she looked good. Keep it up Giuliana.

Random facts about Giuliana I felt I must share -

-she has a masters in journalism from American University

-she was engaged to Jerry O'Connell

-she was born in Naples, Italy

-she wrote a sex-advice book called Think Like a Guy: How to Get a Guy by Thinking Like One

Since we're on the subject of hot rappers.............

................ I can't leave out my main man

H to the Izzo, V to the Izzay

Can I just say that T.I. is incredibly hot?

Ok, since this night is devoted to music, I'm going to post items on people Di would not approve of normally. And since Di and I already don't see eye-to-eye on many things (skinny girls, britney spears, harry potter/horse dude), I don't want to annoy her with constant posts about my favorite rappers.

I think T.I. is like ridiculously sexy.

So there. I said it.

Beyonce, please please please listen to us

You are young

You have an amazing boyfriend (yeah, I said it, Jay Z is the man)

You are pretty and have a great body

Why, Why, Why do you ALWAYS have to try SO HARD to look like a tranny? WHY do you constantly to look like you're in your early forties instead of embracing your youth???!?!!?!!

And PLEASE stop it with that annoying armpit pose already.

The picture above is from Beyonce's performance tonight, where she was singing what has to be the worst song ever.

Is that icing on her head?

Let's remind ourselves of how normal and cute Beyonce can look if she wants -

(Live Updates: random - Lionel Richie is singing "Hello" ----- omg Chris Brown is on - another minor I have a serious crush on....... actually, Jason Wahler is no longer a minor. Awww yeah!)

Ok, I am calm now

Ok, so Ludacris won best rap.

As I said before, I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LUDA.

He also thanked Oprah and Bill O'Reilly. So he is an award winning rapper, actor AND he's funny. Ahhh Luda...... you make me smile.... i'm smitten

(also how hot is he since he cut his hair??!!?)

(ok, Di's going to be mad at me, I'll stop)