I Wish This Were a Joke

The downfall of Britney continues. Is she wearing one of Paris' old wigs from the first Simple Life days? B*tch looks BAD. I have nothing to say. What happened to "back and better than ever"? Go home Britney. And don't come out. Please.

Guess the Goodies

If you know your celebrity boobs this shouldn't be hard AT ALL.

Hint: Notice the tiny nipples. Remember having seen them from the side. Hmmm

Enjoy!

This Makes Me Sad

I like Angelina Jolie. I have always been on Team Jolie. When Aniston lost her man to Angie, I was not surprised, because I believed that she was the most beautiful woman on earth AFTER Kate Moss, of course. However lately, her stupid comments and now her SCARY arms are making me have a change of heart.

Why Angie, why?

People are getting mad at me because I am not in the hot tub at this awesome house we're staying at in Tahoe. Instead, I feel I must blog ---- something must be said about her arms. Scary. Scary. Scary. Ew.

Sweet Dreams....

After returning from Beirut, Sar is now being a ski bum in Tahoe for several days. After returning from London, I am off to sunny Miami for the weekend. So, there will be a lack of posting for a few days. Bear with us as spoiling ourselves with excessive traveling doesn't happen often. We'll be back for good on Tuesday the latest!

I leave you with what I will be dreaming about tonight - mangos, my staple food whenever I go to Miami. Mmmm...soooo goooood......

Miss Skank-ho Cokewhore Burnout

So so sad. I just think of her in the Parent Trap or even Freaky Friday, and this is truly upsetting. This, my dears, it what a few years of non-stop boozing and coke-snorting will do to you. This is going to end one of two ways: an overdose or a burnout. Either way, the world wont be affect too much. Oh no! No more Lindsay in our daily lives, movies, magazines, etc. Wah wah.

Over it.

Growng Pains: Bjork

grew up to become

freak.

WTF is wrong with you, Lindsay???

Lindsay Lohan allegedly had her appendix removed a week ago. Here is a picture of her today jogging in her bikini, in high heels, smoking a cigarette. These are all normal for her so I will not even present them of evidence of anything contrary to her "appendix" story but, I will submit, as exhibit A, the fact that there is no scar where a scar would be if she did in fact have her appendix removed. What does this prove? Just further proof that she's a psychopathic pathalogical liar who leads the most disfunctional life possible. I rest my case.

beat-downs: the perfect way to say "I love you, B"

A woman claming to be Beyonces assistant says she has seen first hand Jay Z push and shove Beyonce. The email says:

I wanted to bring this to MediaTakeOut.com because I know how you all like to put stuff out no matter what it is. So I felt that I should expose Jay for the ugly [EXPLETIVE] he is. Seems that for a while he's had a problem with keeping his hands to himself. Now I've never seen him just flat out strike Bee, but too many times have I seem him shove and push her. At first I thought that it was just a little horse play thing between the two - but once I saw how embarrassed Bee was to be man-handled in the front of me in St. Tropez - I realized that it was no joke. I've been [Beyonce's assistant] and friend for a while now and I've always wanted to say something but I never felt it was my place. He treats Beyonce like she's an object and not a person. The [EXPLETIVE] should be happy that a beautiful woman finally wants and loves his ugly [EXPLETIVE] for more than just what's in his pockets.

Yeah I dont really have an opinion on this. True or not, it wouldn't bother me. If I had the chance, I'd beat her ass too.

?Celebrity? Verbal Vomit of the Day

"It's so easy for me to fall back into depression. I think it comes with having money. I don't have to work. I could be sitting bored and depressed at home with a bag on my head."
-Kelly Osbourne


When will spoiled rich kids just realize that they TOO are allowed to get real jobs and go to college??? Bored? DO SOMETHING YOU STUPID WASTE OF SPACE!!!!!

You're Welcome

Ladies, save this picture and show it to all the men in your life. For instance, if your bf is anything like my bf, he thinks Jessica Alba is pretty much as close to perfection as you can get. In fact, Jessica Alba constitutes "natural beauty" to many of my male friends. Well, here is a picture of Ms. Alba when her hair and make-up people obviously took an extended lunch break. My pleasure.


[bitter, party of one]

Growing Pains: Jennifer Aniston

grew up to become

USA! USA!

Here ye, here ye, it is with great honor that I announce that the hotness that is David Beckham has announced that he is leaving his team, Real Madrid and joining LA Galaxy....which is in....duh....LA!!!! Which means that the other hotness that is Posh will be moving to LA!!! And although LA is almost as far away from NY as London or Madrid, it makes me feel safe...er...yeah.

Anyway, Beckham told Reuters, “After discussing several options with my family and my advisors to either stay here in Madrid or join other major British and European teams I have decided to join LA Galaxy and play in the MLS from August this year. I would like to thank supporters and the people of Madrid who have made my family and I so welcome in my time here making this an extremely difficult decision to make. I have enjoyed my time here enormously and I am extremely grateful to the club for giving me an opportunity to play for such a great team and their amazing fans.”
WELCOME TO AMERICA POSH, BECKS, BROOKLYN, ROMEO, & CRUZ!!!!!!

new year, new break-ups

So far, 2007 proves to be the year of break-ups. Cameron and Justin, Marilyn and Dita, and now Drew and Fab. US Weekly reports that Drew Barrymore and Fabrizio Moretti have called it quits after 5 years (yes, FIVE years!!!). Whatever....Hollywood....meh. What do you expect?

Remember when Jolie-Pitt news used to make you smile and feel all better???

Angelina Jolie just showed us what an idiot she is. How? By saying this, in Elle.

"I think I feel so much more for Mad and Z because they're survivors, they came through so much. Shiloh seemed so privileged from the moment she was born. I have less inclination to feel for her... I met my other kids when they were six months old, they came with personality. A newborn really is this... yes, a blob! But now she's starting to have a personality... I'm conscious that I have to make sure I don't ignore her needs just because I think the others are more vulnerable."

WTF? Who calls their infant a blob? Or says she has less inclination to "feel" for her? Like ANY kid has it easy growing up or doesn't face issues every day! On one hand, if we change around what she's saying A LOT and make sense of it, I can understand what she's trying to convey in this idiotic statement. On the other hand, SHUT UP and take scary "I'm my current girlfriend's clone" boyfriend to some other remote country because I'm sick of creepy pictures of you two at premieres or events.

Oh, and someone has to stop this bitch from giving birth EVER again!

Team Dita!

According to People Magazine, Marilyn Manson's marriage to Dita Von Teese has failed due largely to his blossoming relationship with Evan Rachel Wood (from Thirteen). He may be 38 and she may be 19; he hardcore and a complete freakshow, she sweet and normal-looking; but you know I really just think this is going to work out - I think this is forever. Mmmm...Yeah.....

hold the dressing please

When Keira Knightly dissapears when she stands sideways. Seriously, bitch needs a chicken ceaser wrap or some cheddar goldfish. Dang.

Her no-name bf, however, looks yummy shirtless (the same cannot be said about the Fabio hair).

available at your local Wawa

Lindsay Lindsay Lindsay. What can be said of this mess of girl? She claims to have her appendix removed late last week only to go back on her partying ways less than 24 hrs later. As always, she coninues to carry her handy dandy water bottle, since she is of course in AA, as she does everyday and everywhere.

Water in the bottle? We think not. Vodka tastes better undercover, you know.

Well, the folks at Best Week Ever decided to dabble in advertising, and the result is precious:

Rehydrate. Rehabilitate. Intoxicate. Introducing Adequite, the world’s first single-grain triple-distilled luxury vodka available in a discreet plastic container that resembles an innocent - yet stylish - water bottle. Specially developed by troubled alcohol enthusiast and occasional movie actress Lindsay Lohan, Adequite is the solution to the problem you’re not ready to admit you have.

what is going on here?

Now, I usually enjoy the nipples of Kate Moss as much if not more than the next guy, but these babies are looking a little ginormous in the picture above. Especially for her modest breast size. The nipple to breast ratio is just a bit off now. Critique noted, Kate?

Orlando Bloom tries his hardest to be unsexy

squeezing out some snot from your nose: check

showing off his ribcage: check

peeing in public, with one pant leg hiked up to great heights: check

Sneaky Orlando, you can fool us, you sexy beast you.

just as she likes them

Jessica Alba + male = erection

it's math; cant argue with math

The fates of SPF and the other one have been decided - for now

Britney and K-Fed have agreed upon a custody arrangement for their two brats (we only have proof of the existence of one of them, but we are to assume now that the 2nd also exists). According to the legal documents Britney Look-at-My-Bojina Spears will have custody of Sean Preston and Jayden James most of the time, but K-Fizzle will be allowed to see the boys three times a week for four hours between Jan. 12 and 31 at Brit's place.

The only people allowed at the visitation will be Spears, Federline, a nanny, Spears's personal assistant and household staff. Meanwhile, Spears is permitted to take the children to Miami from Jan. 5 to 11. She has agreed to keep Federline apprised of her location while in the city. This only applies for January - so more (fun?) details of custody arrangements will emerge soon.

Three times a week? WTF? this just shows that the judge was probably like the man's a loser and will probably be drinking beer out of the baby's bottle and doing the Popozoa for the kids' delight but at least we haven't been exposed to his privates (I just grossed myself out). Also, as far as we know, he hasn't had long exposures to the human STD called Paris Hilton. So yeah, why not let him see the kids 3 times a week - it'll give Britney time to walk around looking like the mess she is and to go back to her old tricks. We haven't seen Britney vadge with barely visible stubble in a while. Eek.