chaotic no more

After spending 5 hours finalizing her divorce from my man Kevin, Brit steps out with a fugly hat. Apparently, they decided upon joint custody and Kevin will get $1 Million. That, btw, is total chump-change, esp considering her recent behavior.

Anyhow, that will leave Brit with a bajillion dollars to spend on cheap-looking trashy tacky clothing and accessories. Hurray.

ps: What's up with her face? It looks weird. I know she's wearing blue contact lenses but her nose and general face shape looks weird. Or maybe I've just become used to examining her like a species of scientific wonder. ::Shrugs::

more more more

Courtney debuted another swimsuit on her new body today.

Bleh, now that we have another view, I think she looks sickly and it really looks like she got skinny to fast and unhealthily. She's saggy and very much not toned (im not one to talk, but I'm also not a millionaire with oodles of free time at my hands). Her arms and shoulders are oddly large for the rest of her frame and she seems to have a concave hole between her breasts (a la Nicole Richie). Also, are those scars on belly?

Wow, I'm a bitch.

One more comment: Who the hell wears so much jewelry in the ocean??

twilight zone

Jesus, what the hell is going on? A skinny Courtney Love? WTF? OMG!

Please please please Courtney do not go all Nicole Richie on us b/c you're looking a bit scary in the first pic. And consider toning your legs (esp considering those saggy knees in pic 2).

I know I know, beggars can't be choosers. I'm just saying.

Halle Berry's Secret Admirer

Dear Halle,

I dont care that you tried to kill yourself years ago, before you were really famous, even if Extra, ET, The Insider, People, etc. all love getting their paws on your lame tidbits.

Why do I not give a shit? B/c we gave you an Oscar and you've given us nothing but crap ever since. Plus, you are dating a hottie but assert that you shall never marry again. BORING!

Love,
Your Secret Admirer

poor Salma

You know, I really dont think that Salma knew what she was getting herself into. Doesn't she realize that even D-list celebs move up the fame ladder when they are engaged, preggers, or divorcing? (The kicker is dying, but that's a different story for a different day).
And since Salma is, I would say, B-list, her pregnancy is a pretty big deal - esp. since no one knew she was seeing anyone and since this is coupled with a surprise engagement AND since her ta-ta's are ginormous to begin with & are growing rapidly.
So, sorry Salma, you're going to have to try harder to look cute (esp with that nest of hair you got goin on) b/c the paps are waiting behind each and every corner, just for you!
Ah the cruel price of fame. Woe is you.

dare i say it

Even though Nicholas Cage is wearing a lei in Washington D.C. (where he is currently filming the sequel to "National Treasure"), this is probably the more normal and least fugly i have seen him in years. Good job, Nicky!

Barron shat on Donald's face

either that or someone doesn't know how to properly utilize Hollywood Tans


tisk tisk

genius marketing strategy

shoutout to K-Rub

as much as i love these two....

1) ....i really think it's about time for Posh to change her look. gain some weight and SMILE!

2) ....Becks has got to stop letting Posh do his hair - ew yuck yuck!

3) .....give em the old razzle dazzle, razzle dazzle em!

(that last one was just another way of saying "more personality!!!!")

Just when I started to think that Xtina has class and taste...

The crack wears off and remember that this is the true Xtina.

Sly, you so fly

Rambo, the golden years. Not a good idea. Is Hollywood on drugs?

Oh right....yup.

Petra Nemcova + James Blunt = DUNZO

Hottie and Fug broke up. Blah blah blah in February blah blah blah amicably blah blah whatever.

Kevin Federline's Secret Admirer

Dear Kevin Earl,

I'm sorry no one came to your birthday partay. I would have gone if I didn't have all those backed up shows saved on my DVR. But just know that I appreciate your life and treasure your presence in mine.

Keep up the good work.

Love,
Your Secret Admirer

career advice for Rose McGowan

Honestly, I know this comparison has been made numerous times before, but I find it truly astounding how much Rose McGowan looks just like Dixie Carter. Like, not really even a "younger version" but truly just looks like her. Bad for Rose; good for Dixie.

Rose

Dixie

Rose

Dixie

So, if I were Rose, and my role in Quentin Tarantino's Grindhouse (pics of her are from its premiere) didn't shoot me to super fame (which is what I'm guessin will happen), I would push every screenwriter, producer, director, and movie house to write/produce/direct/release a biopic on Dixie Carter. Because she would HAVE to be cast as the lead. You know how the Academy of Motion Pictures just loooooves biopics. DO IT ROSIE!!!!

here ye here ye

Lindsay's legs are once again open for business. She is "dating" again. This is great news for any guy who's planning on going to any hip place anytime in the near/distant future. Read all about it here!
I posted a pic of her attending a premiere of The Tudors today. It's nice to have the resident whore back with her trademark black nails, long chains, and shapeless black outfit. (OMG, that actually describes me perfectly today!)

the catwalk of the dept. of sanitation

As you probably know, Naomi Campbell just completed her week-long community service duties as punishment for chuckin a phone at her maid's skull. Well, she dazzled her way to work each day, and probably gave the designers she wore, including Marc Jacobs, Proenza Schouler, and Alexander McQueen, more attention than New York fashion week.

DAY 1
DAY 2

DAY 3

DAY 4

DAY 5

work it, girl.

in case you are trying to throw up...

...here's a pic that should help you with the process.

Between the chest scar, the saggy boobies, and the closeted gay hubby, I am regretting this morning's omelette.

Brit update

Homegirl has been taking advanced hip-hop classes for a few days now in L.A.
This makes me happy b/c dance classes = choreography = tour/video = album!!!

hey britney!

Britney has emerged and she is looking healthy-ish and happy-ish. Well, she is looking much better. Below are pics of her leaving a sushi restaurant with friends. That's a big step from the sushi she was having at those strip joints pre-rehab (ew, yucky joke). Above are pics of her going to a hair salon. Yes, you read that correctly- a hair salon. ::Shrugs::


Now, I refuse to get my hopes up about Brit. Yes she is looking better but that does not mean the she is rehabilitated or that the rehabilitation will stick. Nor does it mean that we can sit back and assume/expect her to look good. Remember how cute she looked on Letterman? Or ice-skating in Rockefeller Center later that night? We thought it was safe then, but we were sadly sadly mistaken. I no longer put my heart out there for it to be broken. No more, Brit-Brit!

i hate Bobby Trendy

Bobby Trendy is an H-list celebrity at best. He is best known as Anna Nicole's decorator on her E! show a few years back. He appeared in 3 episodes at best and accomplished little. He was the worst interior designer I had even seen. His taste is tragic and nauseating. Well, now that Anna's dead and every reporter is dying to get his/her hands on anyone who ever sold Anna a sandwich, he is cashing in on his "Anna connection" and now I have to look at his fug face once again. Cruel world.

Here he is with that dude who played Borat's fat-ass producer. I still think that whats-his-name is too famous to be posing with that piece-of-trash ass-clown, Bobby Trendy.

Joinin the Mac train

After observing the enormous amount of satisfaction felt by Sar, I too decided to head to the giant Mac store on 5th Ave and purchased myself a MacBook. Verdict? In love.
I was definitely a non-believer and I denounced the Mac trend but I have now seen the light. This machine is genius (and loads of fun too!). Hurray for me.
I leave you with the first pic I took with the nifty Photo Booth feature. The pic features myself as well as Geoffrey, the kind soul who helped me get to know my new friend, the Mac.


ps: I am now ready again to deliver the celeb gossip and news, as there's been a lag (cough cough Sar cough cough) in postings, but we shall not dissapoint.