Shameless Italian Celebrity Wanted

Shameless Italian celebrity wanted for good times and classy fun in his vespa. Must have a glorious mane and indescribable appreciation for scotch.

Who is Marco Santori?

Marco Santori has a blog!

Paris going to jail = our Christmas

Although we are still on our break from blogging, and will relaunch officially after our deadly law finals are completed, so we may devote the appropriate time and attention to the entertainment world, we find that it is imperative to touch upon the fact that Christmas has come early to America this year...in the form of Paris Hilton's jail sentence!!!
Paris has started a petition to ask Governor Swarchenegger for a pardon to this "injustice" - you know, breaking a law repeatedly. But such a petition is like asking Santa to take away our Christmas presents and so I say that for the love of all things merry, Paris must serve her assigned 45 days in prison!

I'd make a "ho ho ho" reference but it's too easy.

WTF???????

I don't watch Ellen, and now I know why. If this is the most exciting sh*t that goes on I'm not missing anything. However, I give her props for making J-Lo look like an idiot. People's caption for the picture calls J-Lo a triple threat - all I can say is, maybe in 2001 she was but now - ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

In other Spice Girl news . . .

Victoria Beckham should NOT dress like a 13 year old boy. Duh, I know she's skiing and that that's probably not the outfit a 13 year old boy would pick to go skiing, but you can't deny b*tch looks somewhat manly. Probably not manly, per se, but definitely like a very Euro gay dude - highlights, hairband and all.
Here she is on the slopes in Courchevel, France. Shouldn't you be house hunting????????

Scary Spice FINALLY Pops

Melanie Brown, AKA Scary Spice gave birth to a 5 pound 4 ounce baby girl early Tuesday morning in Santa Monica, California. Is it a coincidence that it's also Eddie Murphy's birthday?
Oooooh I love paternity tests!!!!!!!!!

Should I be really, really sad?

Pete sings to Kate, Kate kicks him and sings "rot in jail you c**t" . . . this is the most bizarre things I've ever seen. But on some level it's really romantic and cute. Hmm... I clearly have relationship issues. I was watching Pride and Prejudice last night and I think this is almost as romantic as "and how are you this evening Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy, Mrs. Darcy", if not more, in its own special way. enjoy.

just so you know...

"Blades of Glory" ROCKED my world!!!! Honestly, usually when I watch a Will Ferrell kind of movie (or anyone from "the laugh pack") such as "Anchorman," "Dodgeball," "40 Yr Old Virgin," etc etc, it takes me a few times of seeing the movie to really love it. I like it at first and then the jokes grow on me. This movie, however, made me almost piss my pants on the first viewing. My friends and I then spent the next few hours reminiscing about the great parts of the movie - which was every part.What was truly great was that there was absolutely no lag time. Even with the love interest, they kept the romantic parts to a minimum and brushed past them long enough to appease those people looking for a the guy to get the girl. Those people suck, but they do exist.Furthermore, this was an INCREDIBLY well cast film. I haven't liked one thing Jon Heder has done since "Napoleon Dynamite" (I think he only did 2 things since, but whatever) but I really did enjoy his performance. It must be hard to go up against Will Ferrell in anything, but he held his own. I adore Amy Poehler and Will Arnett so that rocked. Getting the guy who played Coach on that late 80's / early 90's show, "Coach," to play Coach in this movie was quite clever. And as for the love interest, Jenna Fischer, well...I dont care for her so much but they could have picked a much more annoying actress to play the part and I know that Jenna does have a big following since she's on "The Office" (which I do not watch and people hate me for it).
But my favorite actor in the film was by far, my man, Romany Malco - aka Conrad from "Weeds." I love him in everything I've seen him in (which so far only also includes "40 yr old Virgin") but seeing him in this film, not playing a big strong man but rather a gay choreographer, made my week. Thank you Romany. Thank you casting directors. Thank you "Blades of Glory."GO SEE IT!

ps: I wrote movie reviews for my college newspaper, so I obviously have a lot of credibility to decide which films you should or should not see.

brit brit brit

I know I know, beggars can't be choosers. However, I'd like to know who, particularly if they are famous, goes out dressed like this. I dont care if you're going to a Lakers game, you do not get decked out in ALL their gear...with matching sunglasses and wig scrunchie!


Furthermore, you can see under her wig that her real hair starting to grow back. She should ditch the beat ass plastic she wears over her head right now and go with a very cute Mia Farrow-esque pixie do instead. When Kylie Minogue did it a while back, it looked great and fresh. Granted, Kylie went through chemo while Brit had a drug-fueled mental breakdown and shaved her head. Same difference.

?Celebrity? Verbal Vomit of the Day

"I'm really kind of crazy and so busy and everything so it's nice to just be spending time with my friends and family and also not having to worry about, you know, calling in and doing the check-in. I'm not really good at that." -Rosario Dawson, talking about being single, @ the Grindhouse premiere in NYC.




The quote isn't really the weird or stupid thing. What gets me is that I could have sworn she and Jason Lewis (HOT) were still together. Apparently they broke up last year but I do not remember such as thing AT ALL. Whatevs, she was too fug for him anyway.

Sadness

Another season of The Hills is over tonight.
Don't forget to catch it at 10pm on MTV, of course.
Who can ever forget "my answer is, get out of my car."
If there is a season 3, can they PLEASE get jason to come back? please please please???!!!!!!! let's all admit, he's a God compared to the douchebags that are Spencer and Brody.

My favorite celebrity family ever!

I LOVE the stefani-rossdales. Kingston is adorable!
Here he is after his baptism at an L.A. church yesterday. Congrats Kingston!
What a hot family, I can't get enough of them, always smiling and looking good . . . Ben Affleck and Jen Garner, watch and LEARN.

Snoop and I understand each other

Another awesome video. I heart Snoop Dogg.I also think Bill O'Reilly is a motherf*cking prick. Love it.

The Most Boring Couple Award goes to . . .

. . . Kate Hudson and Owen Wilson, even though she is wearing my dress.
I feel like you guys deserve this honor. Nobody cares about you two. Even if you are dining at The Ivy.

Two hot bitches

Since I saw The Departed for the first time, I have developed a love and admiration for Leo that borders on strange and wrong. I feel the same way towards Knut, the newborn polar bear at the Berlin Zoo. Knut's mom wouldn't accept him and he is being raised by a human. He is the cutest polar bear baby I've ever seen.
Here are my two loves together on the cover of Vanity Fair's green issue. I can't decide who I'd rather take home with me.

What happened to the good old days?

Remember hot Beyonce? It's been so long that I didn't even bother with trying to find a picture to remind you. But here is Beyonce now. Honestly, I'd rather stare at Courtney Love playing with her stomach like it's dough.

Her life is sad

How is this funny? All it shows us is that you have NOTHING to do with your time after Ryan Reynolds dumped you ass (ok, I don't know who dumped whom but I like to believe it was him).

Barf

I have never considered Jessica Simpson a style icon like some (deranged) people do. But today she just looks like an Orthodox Cardozo law student whose fashion sense has gone out the window with the fast approach of finals. And what's up with her hair? There is nothing about the picture above that I can comment positively on. From the suitcases to the boyfriend, ew ew ew ew.

This is what I want for Christmas.

Every other blog has mean things to say about Cameron Diaz. Does she sometimes look really weird? Yeah. Is she sometimes REALLY annoying? Yes. Does she sound really dumb most of the time? Yeah. But at the end of the day, she is quite cute.
As for the title, yeah, I want her abs/stomach for Christmas. And unfortunately, although Christmas is more than 8 months away, no amount of diet, exercise or training will let me achieve this.
Finally, how blue are her eyes? They remind me of the baby Di and I saw are French Roast Saturday during brunch. Let's all admit she's not looking bad at all.

An improved Britney?

Sort of. If this were any other celebrity, I'd be mean and say, wtf is she wearing the fugliest hat EVER? But for Britney, this is an *improvement* in the accessories department (she awful outft below). She also looks kinda pretty, she should wear this wig more often. I had missed seeing her happy.
Go Britney! I guess? Bah, I'm still on K-Fed's side!

I just threw up in my mouth (again)

Why does Ms. Love want to gross us out this much? I mean if you don't have it, DON'T flaunt it. I was sooo pro Courtney Love and the new thin look all week! Why, why do I have to be subjected to this nastiness now?
That being said, she can at least pull off a bikini when she's standing up. And I'm in no position to be mean about her. I'm just jealous because I'm stuck in a tiny NYC apartment on a shitty day whereas she's on a beach getting all tan.

Cry me a river

The Beckhams apparently can't find a house in L.A. to live in. It's like SO hard for them. I mean come on, how long has this been going on? They have been refusing to pay higher prices just because they are famous. I mean, I understand they're pissed but I'm sick of seeing pictures of Posh walking around looking for a place to live. A source tells People that they are "careful with their money." You'd think these hos were poor, especially with Victoria taking on a job recently. She's going to star in a six-part NBC reality show that will coincide with their move to L.A.
I am looking forward to that, I wonder if they'll ever show her eating on the show. Since it's only six episodes, probably not - not enough time would have passed between meals. Having said all of this, I heart Posh and Becks. Check out this old picture of them. Is that something that resembles a booty on Posh????!!!!!! Ahhhh!!!!!!!!! Just kidding, we are talking about the woman who lives on water and edamame.

chaotic no more

After spending 5 hours finalizing her divorce from my man Kevin, Brit steps out with a fugly hat. Apparently, they decided upon joint custody and Kevin will get $1 Million. That, btw, is total chump-change, esp considering her recent behavior.

Anyhow, that will leave Brit with a bajillion dollars to spend on cheap-looking trashy tacky clothing and accessories. Hurray.

ps: What's up with her face? It looks weird. I know she's wearing blue contact lenses but her nose and general face shape looks weird. Or maybe I've just become used to examining her like a species of scientific wonder. ::Shrugs::

more more more

Courtney debuted another swimsuit on her new body today.

Bleh, now that we have another view, I think she looks sickly and it really looks like she got skinny to fast and unhealthily. She's saggy and very much not toned (im not one to talk, but I'm also not a millionaire with oodles of free time at my hands). Her arms and shoulders are oddly large for the rest of her frame and she seems to have a concave hole between her breasts (a la Nicole Richie). Also, are those scars on belly?

Wow, I'm a bitch.

One more comment: Who the hell wears so much jewelry in the ocean??

twilight zone

Jesus, what the hell is going on? A skinny Courtney Love? WTF? OMG!

Please please please Courtney do not go all Nicole Richie on us b/c you're looking a bit scary in the first pic. And consider toning your legs (esp considering those saggy knees in pic 2).

I know I know, beggars can't be choosers. I'm just saying.

Halle Berry's Secret Admirer

Dear Halle,

I dont care that you tried to kill yourself years ago, before you were really famous, even if Extra, ET, The Insider, People, etc. all love getting their paws on your lame tidbits.

Why do I not give a shit? B/c we gave you an Oscar and you've given us nothing but crap ever since. Plus, you are dating a hottie but assert that you shall never marry again. BORING!

Love,
Your Secret Admirer

poor Salma

You know, I really dont think that Salma knew what she was getting herself into. Doesn't she realize that even D-list celebs move up the fame ladder when they are engaged, preggers, or divorcing? (The kicker is dying, but that's a different story for a different day).
And since Salma is, I would say, B-list, her pregnancy is a pretty big deal - esp. since no one knew she was seeing anyone and since this is coupled with a surprise engagement AND since her ta-ta's are ginormous to begin with & are growing rapidly.
So, sorry Salma, you're going to have to try harder to look cute (esp with that nest of hair you got goin on) b/c the paps are waiting behind each and every corner, just for you!
Ah the cruel price of fame. Woe is you.

dare i say it

Even though Nicholas Cage is wearing a lei in Washington D.C. (where he is currently filming the sequel to "National Treasure"), this is probably the more normal and least fugly i have seen him in years. Good job, Nicky!

Barron shat on Donald's face

either that or someone doesn't know how to properly utilize Hollywood Tans


tisk tisk

genius marketing strategy

shoutout to K-Rub

as much as i love these two....

1) ....i really think it's about time for Posh to change her look. gain some weight and SMILE!

2) ....Becks has got to stop letting Posh do his hair - ew yuck yuck!

3) .....give em the old razzle dazzle, razzle dazzle em!

(that last one was just another way of saying "more personality!!!!")