Jessica Simpson opens her mouth

In a recent interview with Elle magazine, Jessica Simpson said some crap about being hurt seeing Nick with other women so soon after their breakup.

"Oh, it hurt me. Two or three weeks later? Yeah, I'd say it kind of hurt me."

Two weeks later?! At least it wasn't during the actual marriage, you two-timing skank. How do you think Nick felt about you and Dane Cook? And that Jackass guy? Plus, he had to deal with the clearly incestuous relationship you have with Papa Joe. Shut up, please.

As for these pictures - lay off the fake tans, you look terrible. And fire your makeup person, like NOW. Your hair is hot, but you don't have to spend every waking moment with gay men - and by that I don't just mean Ken Paves, but John Mayer as well!!!!!

Oh, and please can you just shut your mouth - it's not hot! - literally and figuratively!

p.s. we love spending as much time possible with gay men, but not as their beards.