Why does sh*t like this never happen to me?

No, this is not another picture indicating how badly I'd like to have a Whopper. Actually, I was pretty much over it until I read this.
Two police officers sued Burger King Corp., claiming they were served hamburgers that had been sprinkled with marijuana.
The officers ate about half of their burgers before discovering marijuana on the meat, the lawsuit said. It gives a whole new meaning to the word 'Whopper,"' the officers' attorney said Monday.
Mmm yeah, it does. And is it wrong that on some level I'm a little jealous?

The lawsuit, filed Friday in Bernalillo County, alleges personal injury, negligence, battery and violation of fair practices. It seeks unspecified damages along with legal costs.
blah blah blah. I don't really know what that means, but it's the most law related thing I've dealt with all week, even though I go to law school, and I felt I should include it somewhere.